Florida, you may have heard, is a sunny place for shady people. We’ve had that reputation ever since the first grinning huckster sold an acre of swampland to an unsuspecting Yankee, promising it was “waterfront” property.
We’ve seen sooooo many examples of this. For instance, Charles Ponzi, the guy who invented the Ponzi Scheme in Boston, fled to Florida, where he promptly got involved in a scheme to sell lots that were literally underwater. He told buyers the lots were near Jacksonville, which they were if you call 65 miles away “near.”
As a Florida native, I’ve long been fascinated by stories about Ponzi and the other rogues who pulled off clever cons here. Maybe it’s because I hail from Escambia County, the only county with the word “scam” right in the name.
This is why I was so intrigued the other day when our letter carrier dropped off a stiff white card that carried the distinctive odor of: “Uh-oh, this ain’t right.”
“IMPORTANT WATER QUALITY NOTICE” it screamed. “The Water Plant will be in your area testing your water and collecting data FREE of charge.”
Nowhere did it explain what “The Water Plant” might be. It’s certainly not my local utility, which is run by the city of St. Petersburg.
The word “FREE” got my eyebrows up, too. You know anything in the “Free” State of Florida that claims to be free in all-caps lettering probably comes with a hefty price tag.
“Because of the…
