It’s Your Money: No one is immune to online scams and fraud


NEWS: The FBI on March 22 released its 2021 Internet Crime report, which found that Americans lost more than $6.9 billion ($15 million in New Hampshire) to fraudsters using technology to steal money from people. And those are just the people who reported the crime to the FBI.

WHAT THIS MEANS TO YOU: Most people think they’re too savvy to get taken in by fraud, but scammers’ methods are constantly getting more sophisticated, and if you’ve ever clicked on a link, you are vulnerable.


You may think you’re too smart or savvy to get taken in by a scam. The truth is, though, the majority of people are susceptible to scams and fraud, particularly as we live more of our lives online.

Scammers don’t always advertise themselves with a Nigerian address or outrageous claims that you have millions coming to you. As people have become more dependent on technology to communicate, scammers and fraudsters have gotten way more sophisticated.

The FBI Cyber Crime Center (IC3) tracks more than 30 different types of scams that originate through a computer, device or phone. We’re going to take a look at three that everyday people like us are particularly vulnerable to.

person using black smartphone with gray and pink case

Confidence Fraud/Romance Scams

The FBI got reports from 24,966 victims of romance scams in 2021, with losses of $956 million. The actual amount of victims and money list is likely many times higher. IC3 statistics are based on reports directly from victims to the FBI. The FBI says that it’s likely “most losses” of this crime are never reported.

You know why that is – you’re likely chuckling about how gullible people who get taken in by these scams are. Victims, the huge majority of them women, know they’ll be judged. They’re hesitant to put themselves out there. Fraudsters know this, too, which makes it easier for them.

The truth is, anyone can be taken in by a confidence fraud or romance scam, because fraudsters know how to gain a victim’s confidence and manipulate people into becoming victims.

The FBI reports that 63 percent of the victims who reported being scammed were over 40, with half of those being over 60. But that doesn’t mean younger people aren’t victims as well.

In the typical romance scam, the criminal adopts a fake online identity to gain a victim’s confidence, then steals from them. 

“The criminals who carry out romance scams are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable. The scammer’s intention is to quickly establish a relationship, endear himself/herself to the victim, gain trust, and eventually ask for money,” the FBI says. [To hear a victim’s story, as well as an FBI agent talk about romance scams, click here].

The scammers may make plans to meet in person, but something always comes up and it doesn’t happen. They often “work overseas” – in the military, construction, the CIA or some other legitimate-sounding enterprise that keeps them on the move and away from home. At some point they’ll have an emergency that requires money from the victim – a  medical situation, an issue that’s caused their bank accounts or credit cards to be frozen. They have money, they just can’t get to it. They rely on the relationship they’ve built with the victim to take her money. Victims sometimes keep sending money, too, convinced that things will turn around.

While victims of romance and confidence scams are often criticized as greedy and “getting what they deserve” because the scammer portrayed himself as wealthy, that’s a misconception. These scams rely on victims being honest, compassionate people who want to help someone they trust.

Another version of this is the “grandparent scam,” where the scammer emails or calls the victim, usually someone middle-aged or older, and convinces them they’re a loved one in trouble who needs money wired to them ASAP.

There are two emerging types of romance scams and confidence fraud the FBI is tracking:

  • Sextortion – when someone threatens to distribute sensitive photos or other material unless you give them money (or perform sexual acts). In 2021, the IC3 received more than 18,000 sextortion-related complaints, with losses of more than $13.6 million.
  • Investment pressure. In 2021, the IC3 received more than 4,325 complaints, with losses of more than $429 million, from confidence fraud/romance scam victims who reported the use of investment, often involving cryptocurrencies, to defraud them. Sometimes the scammer fattens up a victim’s account before going in for the kill, a practice known as “pig butchering.”

Where romance/confidence scams originate: Email, dating apps, online gaming sites and texts are all fertile ground for first contact. The FBI says that there are con artists on most dating and social media apps.

Red flags: If you see any of this when you’re talking to someone online, it can be a red flag for a romance or confidence scam:

  • They “love bomb” you – they come on very strong very early, shower you with compliments and gifts, rush things, are in constant contact.
  • There are lots of coincidences, like you share a favorite movie or restaurant or dog breed, they went to your college or go to your church, though you never saw them there, or other things in common that they convince you means you are “soul mates.” You could be. But double-check. They could’ve found all that out from your social media.
  • Avoids meeting in person – They always have a reason you can’t meet in person. If they also won’t meet by video, be doubly concerned.
  • Request money — They need money for an emergency or investment, and won’t take no for an answer.
  • They want you to send them nude or compromising photos.

How to protect yourself. Scam victims, particularly women, are made to feel that if they ask questions or stand up for themselves, there’s something wrong with them. This is gaslighting and a major tool in the romance scammer’s toolbox. Women are also conditioned to think that controlling and other red flag behavior is “romantic.” Don’t be fooled. (Many of these tips can also protect you from a toxic or abusive relationship).

  • Do a Google image search of photos your potential love interest sends you if you haven’t met in person to make sure they are not just borrowed from the internet.
  • Google him as well, and don’t let anyone convince you that this shows a lack of trust on your part (remember, that’s gaslighting).
  • Overly complimentary or effusive emails or texts designed to flatter you can be pasted into a search engine to see if they are red flags, including popping up on websites that expose romance scams.
  • Ask questions about your potential partner’s life, listen to the answers and question inconsistencies. A true potential partner will be happy to discuss this with you.
  • Don’t let him move the relationship along faster than what you are comfortable with.
  • Be sure family and friends know you’ve met someone and listen rationally to any concerns. Run things by them if you get uncomfortable with your new friend.
  • Do not send money to someone you’ve met online or through a dating app.
  • If you are uncomfortable don’t keep in contact just to be polite or because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Cut off contact.
  • Report anyone who scams, assaults or harasses you to the dating site you met on as well as to law enforcement (even if law enforcement tries to dismiss it).

Phishing/Vishing/Smishing/Pharming

Phishing, vishing, smishing and pharming are all variations on the same theme – ways for scammers to get access to private information, including email accounts, bank accounts, credit card information and more.

Phishing is an email from what may look like a credible source that asks for information. Vishing is when it’s done by phone or voice over internet protocol (VoiP) systems. Smishing is when it’s by text (officially, SMS systems). Pharming is through a website. 

These scams can either lead to another scam, like getting you to make a fraudulent investment or purchase, or they use the information they get to steal from your accounts or steal your identity.

Where phishing/vishing/smishing/pharming originate: Email, text messages, messaging apps, cellphones, VoiP systems, websites.

Red flags: While these scams arrive in different ways, they have things in common:

  • Urgency, rushing, short time limit to act or threatening language.
  • Unfamiliar or unusual senders or recipients, names or web addresses spelled oddly, government or business messages from a gmail or other general mail address.
  • Spelling or grammar errors.
  • It asks for money or personal information.
  • You’re asked to click a download, link or attachment.
  • It says it’s from the IRS or a law enforcement agency and is telling you to pay for something with a credit card.
  • It asks you to buy gift cards. 

How to protect yourself: These scams are everywhere and most people are bombarded with them through text and email.

  • Never click on a link from an unfamiliar source. Hover your cursor over email links to see the actual URL.
  • If a phone number isn’t from someone you know, let it go to voicemail. Scammers use “spoof” numbers that can look like they’re from anywhere.
  • Never send money to someone you don’t know; set up Venmo accounts with any family members or friends you exchange money with.
  • Ignore emails and texts that say your “unsubscribe” click didn’t work, click here because your order wasn’t completed, or anything else that wants you to click on something. If it’s from a familiar source, check it independently, not through the suspicious message.
  • Never buy gift cards at the request of an email, text or phone message. Never send photos of the gift card numbers or read the numbers over the phone. Ever.
  • Don’t respond if an email tells you your settlement money, refund, gift or anything else is waiting for you.
  • If a call, email or text purports to be from a government agency, like the IRS or sheriff’s department, look up their number and call them. The IRS does not…

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