During the last two years of my marriage, my husband and I became strangers to one another. We were two people living in the same house, even sharing the same bed. Apart from that, we lived separate lives.
When we did talk it was only to argue. Mostly we bickered about how my husband slept till noon, rarely got out of bed, and refused to look for a job.
We were miserable together. But still, I stayed in my marriage. Why?
I believed I couldn’t afford to leave.
We lived in L.A., an expensive city. Our kids attended a good school in a nice neighborhood. I knew that if my husband and I split up, I couldn’t afford the rent alone.
I’d have to move to a crummy part of town and put our kids in substandard schools. I didn’t want to do this.
To make matters worse, I was also bankrupt. Years earlier, I allowed my husband to take out a loan in my name. He invested the cash into a Ponzi scheme. The scheme was revealed as fraudulent and suddenly I owed thousands of dollars.
I claimed bankruptcy but that meant my credit score tanked.
If I left my husband, I doubted I could get a landlord to rent an apartment to me, even in a less desirable part of town.
I was working but only part-time. This was because I was trying to be the perfect mom.
I volunteered in our kids’ school and made sure dinner was on the table every night. I helped our sons with their homework. But in doing so, I hadn’t focused on…
