• Elon Musk spies a burrito cart -> Elon Musk wants a burrito.
• He doesn’t want to pay for it.
• Suggests via tweet that the burrito cart guy, sixty-eight-year-old Miguel Chumacero, should just let him have the burrito. Specifically, the ‘Giga-Chad’ Trinidad Scorpion Chilli Breakfast Burrito.
• Burrito cart guy unimpressed with early Twitter polls results. 649K votes, 73% in favour. Demands $2.99 for the burrito.
• Musk takes the burrito and eats it anyway. Refuses to pay.
• Sen. Elizabeth Warren tweets, “Let’s change the rigged system so Elon Musk will actually pay taxes and stop freeloading off Miguel, the burrito cart guy.”
• Elon Musk tweets that billionaires shouldn’t have to pay for burritos or taxes because that’s crazy. Offers to buy the burrito cart for a dogecoin.
• Miguel, the burrito guy, says no. Explains cryptocurrencies are a medium of exchange designed to enrich creators and early investors at the expense of gullible late comers. Adds dogecoin, in particular, is simply an animal-themed Ponzi scheme in which the individual ‘coins’ are on a devaluation trajectory south of the $2.99 burrito Musk just ate.
• Musk changes his Twitter name to “Lorde Edge” and posts: “LOL. Why Chumacero pp look like chimichurri, Miguela?” and walks away from the burrito cart and the offer to buy.
• Elon Musk is still hungry. Wants another burrito.
• Returns to the burrito cart. Offers $44B for the cart and all of its…
